In today’s podcast episode, I managed to drag my (very tired) husband down to my studio in the wee hours of the morning to interview him. Because he was educated in the traditional sense (through the public school) and I was educated at home, trying to blend our styles and preconceived notions about our family was… a journey (to put it mildly). I realized that it is not common that homeschool bloggers talk about where their husbands really fit in, and I have long felt that the dynamic in our home probably rings true for a lot of other people. Here’s the deal, full disclosure, I do 99% of the homeschooling in our home. Partly logistics, hubby is a police officer with a demanding schedule. Partly I’m a control freak and I can’t stand to see him butcher the teaching style I have spent SO long cultivating in myself. I get palpitations when I see the curriculum that I hand selected because it is less pressure for my kids being used to pressure them. My husband and I learned long ago that the only way for him to be involved (if he chooses to be) is if I ‘take off eh?’
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room
A little while ago, I was following a post where a mom was explaining her frustration when trying to deal with her husband’s lack of understanding towards the way her homeschool ran. And I just TOTALLY got it! I also realized that no one really wants to talk about this issue. We all wish it was a lot better than it really is, and it can be really hard. We are with the kids 24/7, we have spent literally weeks of our lives reading blog posts, watching videos, listening to podcasts and experimenting with our kids. We KNOW what works and what doesn’t because it took us a long while to get to this place, am I right? When our husbands come in with a traditional approach to schooling it seems nearly impossible to stay quiet. Especially if the kids are crying and you feel like you are losing all the hard work you have been investing to CHANGE your homeschool. I get that, I have BEEN there.
That is my heart behind today’s podcast. To first of all, shed some light on the fact that I think this is REALLY normal. Secondly, to give us as mom’s some grace for those dads. They aren’t so different than we were when we started this journey, all full of expectation over what this was going to look like. If we never give them the chance, they are never really going to understand where we are coming from. If you want your husband on board with you, excited about choosing curriculum with you, passionate about homeschooling your kids, you need to give him some grace if he wants to get involved. Even if that means you do take a walk or go to the store or have a bath. He is GOING to have bumps along the way, but then you can show him that video YOU watched or discuss how you totally understand that, but then you read THIS article… you get the point. Give him room to make mistakes and also bring something to the table. Because he DOES have a different perspective to offer, and he DOES love those kids just as much as you do!
Homeschool on my friends!